The Demons I face..............

this was a day of treats at work, I made the red velvet cupcakes no worries I did not touch one

my newest latest addiction fresh pineapple with cottage cheese

Chocolate chip cookies another demon

ranch chicken pizza home made thank u very much!!

Chocolate pound cake dusted with powdered sugar and cocoa looks yummy, I baked em but did not eat even one. I baked this on the 21st day of NO SUGAR

So this is my weakness: anything with sugar (Chocolate, cakes, cookies, ice cream) literally anything. I have a few things I dislike but you say chocolate, cookies or anything sweet and I am so there!! I have lived off of sweet processed foods since I was a lil kid. Junior High and High School I would have a Pepsi and cupcakes or anything sweet. lunch was another Pepsi and a chocolate chip cookie and pretzel and cheese. When I played soccer I would chug a Pepsi and then be good to have that energy needed to run and play. 


Now a days I eat this stuff and I blow up in seconds it seems like. Yesterday was a hard day for me. On the 22nd day of this Month August it was my 21st day without no SUGAR. That's right u read it right no sugar. It has been the hardest 21 days. I really thought I was going to die. I realized that, that's all that I craved was SUGAR (donuts, cookies, cakes, candy) sadly it was another ugly truth.I still am committed to stick with this no sugar for the next two months. my only fear is going back to those BAD BAD habits. 


August 23rd was a very hard day all day it was. I was to the point of just giving up and pretty much throw everything away that I have worked hard for, for the past 4 weeks. then that thought of starting all over again and going back into those bad habits came back and I was PISSED, at my self for thinking of giving in and giving up. something I did regularly when on the diet and stuck at 276 lbs. YUCK. Then I could think of Lu pushing me, telling me I could do it!! my girls telling me I could do it!!! It dawned on me how lucky I am to have such great supporters!!! But it was still a very hard day. I went to pilates and it was hard but I was determined to get through the class and NOT GIVE UP I just couldn't go back, I CAN'T go back.That's just not an option!!! I am doing this for ME so excuse me as I VENT and build a bridge and "GET OVER IT" really!!! MUCH BETTER!!!