This is IT!! Enough is Enough!!!

This photo was taken the day I started the BL competition, I may look happy but all I could think was Oh my rolls YUCK!!! Thankfully I have a supportive hubby willing to stick with me through allof this

I figured I could start this blog to build up courage to talk about the feelings that really linger in my head, day in and day out.

August 2nd, 2010 I vowed to eat my last bit of sweets and join BL (biggest loser) that my sister Sinai started. I think my hubby was thinking wow here we go again she's going to join another BL competition and "donate" our money. as dis hearting as it may sound it was just that, the honest truth!!! The question I asked myself was really Silia you are really going to join this with the intention of living a healthier lifestyle? are you really ready to give up your addiction of sweets? all these emotions kept hitting me like a ton of bricks. I even was doubting myself. I remember this day as if it was yesterday, Woke up feeling sick to my stomach, knowing what my day was going to int ale. My hubby and I got ready dropped the kids at school and off we went to my doctors apt. I figured I could get my menstrual cycle in check so that I could start my weight loss with this behind me. After the apt we decided to have a one last hoorah kind of lunch, it felt much like a last meal for someone who was on death row having there last supper or something lol or at least that is what it felt like to me. So we decide on Moochies philly cheesteak sandwichs and a chocolate, chocolate cake with shaved chocolate on top. yea something I was going to miss and I knew it. My DH just looked at me like remember this is the LAST time so enjoy it lol

Later on that day I went and weighed in.................dun dun dun.......WOW was all I could say, 293.8 lbs and I was speechless. I honestly could have cried at the time but wanted to be the positive person just brushed it off, My sister was the one who weighed me in and I was literally embarrassed, this was the heaviest I ever was. My mentality for the longest time was as long as I am under 300lbs I am good. This was way too close that I thought to myself "Enough is Enough" I helped weigh in all the contestants that day and I realized then that I was one of the heaviest contestants. How freakin embarrassing.

That evening I met up with my SIL (she joined the BL) and we talked and she wanted to take me out for one last hoorah dinner at mc donalds. I had a big mac and large fries and a berry smoothie, my SIL the same but with a bananna strawberry both large drinks. I remember going home that evening and hearing my hubby say "I hope you enjoyed your last mcdonald meal" for a while and I just kind of gave him the stink eye and went about the rest of my evening thinking Oh my HELL what did I just get myself into!!! Reality was starting to set in. So here it is my way of tracking my thoughts and feelings from my weight loss jurnee.